20090809 : 秋天
8.7.立秋的时候开始弹肖邦的圆舞曲和玛祖卡。
如果这辈子只允许我有时间和精力练习好一种类型的肖邦， 那就是这2种了。其他我就不奢望了。
于是我意义上的秋天已经开始了。秋天总是伴随着肖邦，虽然这是一种不太健康的习惯，但似乎是控制不住的趋势。
20090802 :72松回来了~
http://felixfelicis.72pines.com/
今天心血来潮点了一下72松。居然可以登录了！
一看，人家5月份就已经回归中原大地了,速度也提升了一点。
这儿的日志有点乱， 因为我重新导入了大半年来的日志。人工导入了不少半年多来大巴的文章，重新拥有失去东西的感觉真温馨！
大巴的文章分类的杂，也没有细心打理，毕竟还是WORD PRESS 讨人喜欢.
为以防万一，大巴和72松都会同步更新的~
去年此时我开始失业以后的第一个月。
翻看从去年到今年的数篇英语日记， 感触不已。很多梦境依然栩栩如生。
原来已经很久了， 日子悄然滑过指尖。尤其是5月份以后，似乎没心没肺得就这么过去。迎来八月的时候，秋天已然在不远处。
是的，很多梦，依然栩栩如生……
2009.1.24.21:05 The Eve of the Eve of Spring Festival
I have nowhere to go. I even escape the idea of calling for my sun.
I saw my sun shining feebly in the far distance, I reached out but held back my hand in that second.
I should keep that sun away from me. It shines in the most beautiful way I have ever seen.
So I taken back my sorrowness, sadness and agony and swallowed them like ice stuck in my throat, like knives cutting my stomach and like nothing has happened before.
I killed you , my emotions and feelings. And I decide to keep my effort in balancing my emotion flucutation.No one’s gonna hurt me anymore except myself, and I was too fragile to prevent myself from hurting by myself.
This world ’s not worth memorizing.
2009.2.1:11:55 Dream of Him
Very long and sophisticated dream, all about him , all about blue and brown.
blue : my fav, and brown: his.
It felt strange to touch him in such short distance. It was even weird that he would appear during those situations and localiations.
But all it was rational , for our talk .
Everything is very logical, just me is not .
I was once very close to him , close enough to touch and even kill. Now the close has made me kill myself.
Only memories are there, but I wish they’re not. Can you see me , struggling like this.
2009.2.7：20：08 Half hALf
So it is , just like you said,
it would be .
Life goes easy on me
those time.
Can’t take my eyes off you ,
can’t take my mind off you…
–The blower’s daughter.
And so it is,
They both forget,
most of the time,
Trying to figure out what that is,
And nobody tells anything about anybody .
2009.2.9:19:38 Pieces
I wake up this morning, was still calm though with curiosity and unbelief.
I have never dreamed of him automatically or not.
That evening, I mean last evening , I was thinking of Andrei again and the 1st time , I cried instead of helpless smiling. It was a very strange feeling , subtle, sensitive while watching the full moon above my head in the dark , the images suddenly appeared in my mind, one by one, full of smile faces .And instantly I was in sadness, upset or depressed for losing or being away from such a charming like hiim?
Life was easy and relaxed then. And though I have never expected that kind of sunshine to pour on me for a life time it was very hard to define the psychological feeling was of harm because it has always been and yet still has positive affect on my mood, whenever , wherever, rejoice. Foolishly , this time , it had performed a negative affect.
It’s the 2nd time that I went to XU JIAHUI in 1 week , Michael said my English is the best among the interviwees,while I just smiled encouragely. It was nice of him to show me the way into it and neglect the technical barrar for me for which I am absolutely grateful.Hope the luck will still be with me for the 3rd time.
Schuman Piano concerto , very passionate and full of emotions like it is in his piano sonata. I have found this 5 years ago when I entered the 2nd year in university while walking under the willow of the campus broadway . It was schuman I was listening to most, exactly , that piece of sonata interpreted by Pollini. I felt a jolt of my heart as if it had paused and restarted again at the beginning of the melody. So does the start of piano concerto now . I thought I could not afford it then as neither could I when I was facing Brahms symphony 1(actually , the later took me another years to become brave enough to take ).Nevertheleess , I still pocess kind of timidness and fear when confronting music with much powerful emotions .Not that Beethoven-style passtion but more romantic ones.
Btw, 2009 is the big year for Haydn 200 pass away anniversary and Menddelsohn 200 birth anniversary. That suddenly reminded me of next year and the next of next, which will be Chopin’s and schumamn’s. Oh , seasons are coming , good guys, watch out your wallets!
2009.2.16:11:25 Lantern Festival or Halloween?
It’s there again , I have been there before in my dream and not long ago.
The same school building , same floor, same classroom yet even same festival! I dont’ know whether it is Lantern festival or Halloween, cuz the students in the dream were saying Lantern Festival.
So everything was in dark suddenly . So dark that I can hardly see anything .I’ve tried to light my cell phone or a match , but the light was too dim for me to see the way towards where I suppose is the out of the school.
I began to feel horrified and trembled at the sight of so many candel-lights beneath my feet while I was standing excactly at th edge of a wrecked floor, one minimeter forward I would be right fell off to the deep valley and into the huge amount of people carrying candels and lights who were celebrating a kind of feast.
Though, there was no noise at all. I felt a deathlike silience which pulled me away from the sight and sought for escape. Everyone were out except me .They had been retreated long ago before I realized where I was and what I was going to do with it.
I therefore was in totally pitch black and almost crept for my way out.
I felt relieved when I woke up very late this morning , at about 9 o’clock and I could not get up more cuz I was too tired and exhausted and fell asleep again.
